Yes, My Child Cried Through Swimming Lessons Too (and Why We Kept Going)

By Candy Murphy, Coordinator Programs, City of Canning Swim School.

I knew this could happen. 

As someone who spent years around swimming lessons, I understand the journey isn’t linear. I know there are regressions, plateaus, leaps forward and steps back. I’ve seen it time and time again.

But knowing it, and feeling it as a parent, are two very different things.

When It Started to Feel Hard

My son started swimming lessons at just three months old. We were consistent. Week after week, we showed up. He loved the water early on. Kicking, splashing, curious and happy.

And then, about 20 minutes into his Baby lessons, something would shift. Tears would start. Big, overwhelming tears.

Was he tired? Hungry? Overstimulated? Done for the day? I never quite knew, probably a mix of all of it.

I remember thinking, this is one of those phases. I knew it would pass. But that didn’t make it easier in the moment.

So we kept going.

The “No” Phase. 

Then came the next phase. The same little boy who had happily done everything suddenly decided he didn’t want to do anything in his Toddler lessons. No jumping in. No kicking across the pool. No interest in the noodle or kickboard.

Just a very firm, very determined “no.”

Again, I knew what this was. Toddlers finding their independence. Learning they have autonomy. Testing boundaries. Wanting to do their own thing.

All completely normal. And still… exhausting. Frustrating. And if I’m honest, a little disheartening.

So we kept going.

The Toughest Transition. 

The hardest part came with the transition to independent lessons.

For six weeks – six long weeks – he cried on the poolside. He didn’t want to get in the water. He didn’t want to participate. He didn’t want to listen.

He just wanted to sit there, upset, while the lesson carried on around him.

And then, as soon as the lesson finished? He’d happily jump in and play in the public pool space.

I remember sitting there thinking, I know this is a phase… but it feels really hard right now.

Watching other children laughing, participating, doing everything “right” in lessons, it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one going through it. 

But You’re Not The Only One

It’s easy to feel embarrassed. Like everyone is watching. Like you’re somehow getting it wrong.

But here’s the truth: you’re not.

No one is judging you.

Most parents in that space have been there, or will be. Swimming teachers understand these moments. They know when to gently step in, and when to give you space to comfort and regulate your child.

I used to joke, “it’s always the kids of swimming teachers that play up.” I’d laugh.

But underneath, I still felt that mix of frustration and worry. 

Knowing Doesn’t Make It Easier. 

Because even when you know it’s part of the process, it doesn’t stop you from feeling it.

Each of those tough phases lasted around six to eight weeks each time.

It was exhausting, frustrating and embarrassing.

And they were hard.

Choosing Your Hard

Parenting often asks you to choose your hard.

It’s hard to bring a crying child to lessons every week. But it’s also hard to stop and then having to start again from the beginning later.

It’s hard to sit through the tears. But it’s also hard to rebuild confidence after losing that familiarity with the water.

It’s hard supporting a crying three year old into the water, especially when it feels like all eyes are on you. But it’s also hard to wait until your child is older, at school swimming without you there, where he feels unsure or self-conscious in front of his peers.

Either way – it’s hard.

So we chose to keep going.

The Small Wins That Matter Most

Slowly, things began to shift. Not in a big, obvious way, but in small, quiet moments.

A smile to the teacher.
A slightly calmer entry into the water.
A moment of sitting on the edge without tears.

I still remember the first time he sat there calmly, waiting for instructions. I nearly cried myself from how proud I was of him.  

Then came the first high five to his teacher, without me there guiding him.
The first jump into the pool.
The first try at a relaxed back float.

These moments felt huge.

What Progress Really Looks Like

That’s what progress really looks like. Not a straight line. Not constant improvement. But a mix of ups, downs, pauses, and then suddenly, progress again.

Children learn at their own pace.

Our jobs as parents, is to keep showing up. To stay consistent. To reinforce that swimming is both fun and important. 

When Motivation Feels Hard

And yes, some days are really hard. Especially when it’s cold. Or raining. Or your child is crying before you’ve even left the house because he can’t find his favourite toy car.

But what we’re doing matters.

We’re not just attending a lesson, we’re building a life skill.

We’re building confidence.
We’re building resilience.
We’re building safety around water.

A Reminder for Parents Like Me (And You)

So if you’re a parent of a “screamer”, a “resister”, or a “challenger”, I see you.

You might already know this is part of the journey, and still feel like it’s hard.

That’s okay.

Trust the process.

Celebrate the small wins.

Lean on your swimming teachers and senior staff and the support around you.

And most importantly – keep going.

Why It’s Worth It

Because beyond the weekly lessons, we’re teaching something that truly matters. Water safety is a life skill, and while it can feel hard in the moment, it’s incredibly important. Tragically, drowning is still one of the leading causes of accidental death in young children in Australia, something no parent should ever have to face.

At Canning Swim School, we see these journeys every day. The ups, the downs, and the incredible progress that comes from simply sticking with it. Our teachers and team are here to support you through every stage.

You’ve got this, your child has got this, and we’re right here with you.